How I Balance it all… (or do i?)
Many young doctors worry: "Is it possible to be a doctor AND have a family?"
Most definitely YES.
But is it easy? Nope.
I certainly don't have all the answers, but a few things I've picked up along the way:
1. Schedule your "fun" time - Just like you schedule your work meetings and calls, schedule in activities with the kids as well as your own relaxing time.
2. Delegate! - You cannot do everything yourself (nor should you try). Ask your partner to help; hire the cleaners; ask the nanny to stay late. It's not about whether you CAN do everything yourself (of course you can!), it's about whether you can be doing something BETTER (like cuddling with the kids or taking a bath).
3. Give up the guilt - Oh the mom-guilt is fierce. We SHOULD be doing this; we SHOULD be doing that. We end up SHOULDing all over ourselves! It's OK to say NO sometimes. It's OK to choose yourself!
4. Grant yourself grace - This one is tough for this perfectionist. It's become a choice - would I rather perseverate over this messy room and stress over laundry, or just let it be and play with the kids? Don't get me wrong, I like things to be tidy, but I'm getting better at not letting it get to me every time.
In the end, I don’t think there is ever true “work life balance” - there are seasons of life (some months you’ll be focused on your family, some you’ll be focused on your career, others on your marriage) and you just do the best you can in that moment...
All the other #workingmoms out there, what tips do you have???
HOw long does it take to become an ophthalmologist?
I often get the questions: How long did it take for you to become an ophthalmologist? 👁 How old were you? Was it worth it or would you have done anything differently?
I would typically say it’s rude to ask a lady about age 😉, but for the sake of education:
Middle and high school => 18 years old
4 years of College => 22 years old
4 years of Medical school => 26 years old
1 year Preliminary Internship => 27 years old
3 years Ophthalmology Residency => 30 years old
1 year Glaucoma Fellowship => (drumroll 🥁) 31 years old
We doctors often joke that we spend our prime years studying and stressing out. Many of us delay our love lives, our family lives, our “real” lives to pursue medicine.
Was it worth it? Definitely. Because I get to spend the rest of my life doing something I truly love. And I am happy with the life I’ve built (as unconventional as it may be).
Would I have chosen something different or easier in hindsight? Absolutely not. You cannot predict life or what will happen with the decisions you make. Whose to say that I would have been ”happier” or it would have been “easier” had I chosen a different path? You can’t, and - even with our infertility struggles, dealing with discrimination at my early job, and the uncertainty of medicine - I wouldn’t risk all the good I have today - like my husband, kids, and all the opportunities.
Instead of wondering “what if” about a past you cannot change or lamenting about the time sacrificed, focus forward on how you can take this life and make it the best it can be...
#liveVICTORIOUS✌🏼
#doctormom #workingmom
Why does covid info keep changing?
I am tired of all the comments about how the CDC “messed up” or Dr. Fauci “lied” back in March or whenever.
Look, physicians and scientists make recommendations based on the information and data we have at the moment. But sometimes (often times actually) that information can change.
It’s called the scientific method. You take a plausible hypothesis (like asymptomatic people don’t need to mask or young people don’t seem to get sick) and test it vigorously to see if it holds true. During this process, you can find new information - including that your initial hypothesis was wrong! So you take that new data, reassess your hypothesis, adjust the methods, and try again until you can get reproducible and conclusive results that make sense... It’s all part of the science and research.
This process can take years (or even ongoing for decades), and usually you don’t have a whole country watching and critiquing your every move. 👀
So please 🙏🏼 - be patient, understand that science is a process, and our scientists and experts are working as fast as they can and doing their very best with the limited information we have.
p.s. What you DON’T do is be stubborn and change or manipulate the data to fit your thinking... Scientists would call that unethical and misleading.
Doctors On Social Media
Why would a doctor be on social media? Doctors on TikTok? What the heck? 🤔
Well, let me explain:
1. Social media is a great place to educate and motivate - Patients are able to connect with me directly, ask questions, and get basic information (I cannot give direct medical advice online, but I can at least point them in the right direction). I have also been impressed with all the premeds/medical students out there who are driven to seek out information about the application/training process, my specialty, and work-life balance. To get a message about how I have helped someone with a decision or answer a question or show them what is possible is the most amazing feeling. ❤️
Moreover, with so much uncertainty and misinformation surrounding this pandemic, I feel a duty to explain and clear things up as best as I can.
2. I can connect and network with amazing people - It has been so fun meeting other like-minded, forward thinking physicians, professionals, and mothers. Even though I haven't met a lot of these people in person (yet), being on this journey together makes me feel like I've known them forever.
3. It's FUN! - Why aren't doctors allowed to have fun? I've seen too many being written off as "not serious" or "not responsible," because they enjoy other hobbies or activities. Doctors are human, too, and we deserve, actually, NEED to let loose a little sometimes.
4. It's my creative outlet - Some people cook, others garden. I love taking pretty photos and making fun videos. I love sharing about my experiences, educating, telling stories, and encouraging others to action. And I think I do a pretty good job. 😉
Be yourself, the world will adjust.
If you are a doctor or professional looking for more information on Tiktok and how it could help your business, visit my FREE RESOURCES page or visit www.tiktokfordoctors.com.
I am tired
I have a confession guys: I'm tired. I really am. 😥 Yesterday was a tough day: Los Angeles went back on lockdown, and LAUSD announced that our kids will not be going back to school in the fall. 😭
I've tried really hard to make the best of this whole situation thus far - for myself and for my family. I know that while I cannot control what is going on around me, I can manage my own mind. 🧠
But it's getting to me.
Part of it is sadness - for our kids, for our economy, for my lonely friends and family. Part of it is true fatigue - from the worry, from the homeschooling, from the feeling that I can't get anything done anymore.
And part of it is anger. Angry frustration - as a doctor - knowing that had we as a country been able to put our arrogance and comfort and selfishness aside for just several weeks and properly mask and distance - this virus would have died out, like it has in many other countries (and NYC!).
But instead, we complain and fight and make it political and now we are worse off than when this all began... It's like the last 4 months have been for nothing. 😩
Is this really who we are? As Americans, that we care more about our individual "freedoms" and "rights" (to not wear a mask or go to a bar) than the health and safety of our neighbors and our entire country? That me, myself, and I are somehow more important and know better than everyone else? That our own agendas, desires, and arrogance trump science and experts? Are these the values and lessons we want to teach our children?
And so we are all paying for it now... Numbers are skyrocketing, and we are back on lockdown. This virus is not going away 🦠, and until we show some humility and respect - for it, for our experts, and for each other - it never will... 🙏🏼
(Tiktok is my coping mechanism. If the US bans it too, I will literally have a break down... 😂😩)
What is MultiLevel Marketing
People have asked after my post a few days ago: What is multilevel marketing and how did it help you?
Multilevel marketing (or MLM) is a type of direct marketing business where you sell products or services directly to a consumer (instead of stocking it in a store). You also have the option to bring on and train other business partners for a small stake in their company. The term network marketing is often used since people tend to reach out and market to their own circles and networks, though with social media this whole concept has evolved immensely.
I joined my Rodan+Fields team in 2015 - right after my job fiasco and when I got pregnant with my son. I actually did not know too much about the company, but I knew I needed a change. I had seen friends be successful in their R+F businesses, and I thought to myself, “If they can do it, so can I. Why not?”
I know an MLM is not for everyone - you have to be prepared to jump into marketing and possibly coach a team to do the same, and there are a lot of negative misconceptions about it - but having a side business ended up being invaluable to me.
It has given me an introduction to business (so different from medicine and motherhood!), provided me a creative outlet (it's the reason I dove into social media), connected me to some amazing people, and taught me about resilience and personal growth (you can imagine some of the negativity and doubt I have had to overcome) - and of course the additional income that has allowed me to go part time medicine and #liveVICTORIOUS on my own terms.
Do you have any other questions about this business model? I would love to answer them for you in future posts/stories!