You are Always One Decision Away…
One evening about 6 years ago I pulled into my garage and took a deep breath. It was around 6pm, and I knew I was late relieving the nanny. Ugh.
I had finished training about 2 years ago, was busting my butt as a per diem 5 days a week (plus weekend call) at a multispecialty ophthalmology clinic, and my daughter was 1. Earlier that day, the chief at my clinic had suggested that I not bother applying for the new full time position because I "should be focusing on [my] family." The comment made me feel angry, unappreciated, deflated, and guilty all at the same time... 😢
I had spent my lunch break therapy shopping and arrived home tired and emotionally exhausted. Even though I felt guilty for being away all day, I was about to walk into what I lovingly called the "dinnertime-bathtime-bedtime circus," so I sat in my car for an extra 10 minutes in the dark to regroup and dry my tears.
I have replayed and retold this story hundreds of times - to other tired working moms and burnt-out physicians. Because this was the moment I that made a decision. The decision that this was not the life I wanted. The decision that I would no longer rely on others for my happiness. The decision that I would have to make some changes to design a life of my dreams.
It would take me a few months to build up the nerve to actually take action (start a side business and change jobs) and another couple years to realize my updated, upgraded goals (go part time medicine and spend more time with my family)...
But it all began in that single decision...
Does this resonate with anyone? Do you know this feeling? What did you do/are you doing about it?
